Love on the Rock
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Marriage is a tripartite union
I'm holding to the orthodox Christian belief of marriage here, which in the eyes of the Church, is a sacred bond between man, woman, and God. A Godly union that’s blessed with children. From a spiritual perspective, any marital advice must be grounded in the belief that marriage is not just an emotional union but also a sacred union that connects the couple on a much deeper spiritual level. When viewed this way, we begin to see the need for and importance of nurturing a marriage's spiritual and emotional dimensions that encourage growth individually and collectively in a united partnership.
Growing on a firm foundation of shared Beliefs and Values:
A shared spiritual foundation is essential to maintain harmony within any marriage. Couples with the same beliefs and spiritual practices often find greater unity and purpose in their relationship. Whether by praying together, attending church services, studying the bible, or discussing spiritual topics together, these shared experiences form the glue that reinforces the bond of marriage and provides a common base upon which to navigate life’s challenges. Doing this promotes spiritual growth, deepening the marital bonds that foster mutual understanding, trust, and respect.
Seeking Divine Guidance through Prayer
Everyone in times of difficulty or when making a major decision, all of us turn our minds to God seeking His guidance through prayer. This is our default go-to, as we find clarity and peace through prayer. Many couples find that praying together or seeking counselling from a Minister / Priest helps to strengthen their union, whilst at the same time providing solutions that are grounded in faith.
There is power in prayer as regular prayer both together and individually, invites God directly into our relationships. Prayer serves as a powerful tool for healing, helping us to find forgiveness, and express our gratitude. In this, we are helped to maintain our marriages in a manner that is positive and resilient against outside influences that have the potential to tear a marriage apart.
Love is a Sacred Commitment
In Marriage we are called to Love each other unconditionally, reflecting God’s divine love. In this, we are called to love each other despite our many flaws (Some of us with more than others!). This is challenging, as each partner needs kindness and patience as they deal with the other's flaws, whilst at the same time continuing to support each other.
Marriage is a Covenant, not a Contract:
If you want a contract, then get a civil ceremony! But when we realise that marriage in the eyes of God is a sacred covenant rather than a legal contract, we understand that our commitment is to nurture, protect, and honour the relationship, regardless of circumstances, or as we once vowed: “in sickness and in health, for better or worse”. From a spiritual perspective, the union of the marital covenant helps us to see our union as a lifelong sacred journey with each other and God!
Love does not bear grudges.
Every marriage encounters difficulties and misunderstandings, these can sometimes be major, but thankfully mostly minor. But all of them cause hurt and pain at one level or another which requires us to both seek and give forgiveness. Remember when we pray the Lord’s prayer, we seek God’s forgiveness for our sins and in turn we are called to forgive those who sin against us. Spending time in prayer enables us to see the importance of forgiveness and helps us forgive which allows us to heal and move forward. By letting go of resentment and choosing forgiveness we restore our inner peace and harmony, allowing each partner to draw closer from the experiences that once threatened to tear us apart.
Healing Together:
When wounds occur in a marriage dealing with them together through prayer and counselling promotes healing. When we recognise and acknowledge each other’s pain we work through that pain with compassion that helps us overcome the obstacles that once came between the relationship threatening to tear it apart. The hurt is never forgotten as the scars that remain serve as a reminder never to let that happen again.
When two become one, as some girl band sang a few years back!
Mutual respect is fundamental to a spiritually strong marriage as it involves honouring each other’s individuality. By taking the time to listen with empathy, we instantly place value on the other’s opinions and feelings. When we are listened to, we instantly recognise this and instantly we know that we are loved by the other. We gain confidence and trust that’s so reassuring it strengthens the whole relationship through a deep sense of mutual love, respect, and care.
Service to Each Other:
In marriage, service translates to selflessly serving your partner, prioritizing their well-being, and supporting them in their personal and spiritual growth. Acts of kindness, understanding, and compassion reflect that spiritual commitment to your partner’s happiness well-being, and fulfillment.
Cultivating Joy and Gratitude
A few years back there was an insurance advert on TV where the bloke's final words were “We want to be together” Unfortunately the girl's facial expression revealed that the relationship was destined to fail. Thankfully that’s not the case for every relationship as there is great joy to be found in togetherness. Through shared experiences, laughter, and celebrating each other’s successes, we find joy and develop deeper emotional and spiritual bonds. Spiritually, joy and gratitude transform relationships that help couples love being together and together with God.
By practicing and expressing gratitude for our partner the relationship becomes more positive. Through gratitude, we actively acknowledge the blessings of our marriage the obstacles we’ve overcome, and the many blessings received. Even in tough times, gratitude helps maintain unity simply through appreciation and contentment.
Shared Purpose and Legacy:
A spiritually aligned marriage often involves a sense of shared purpose or mission, Whether that’s raising a family, contributing to the community, or supporting each other’s spiritual paths. This shared purpose strengthens our bond and gives our marriage deeper meaning.
Spiritually we are encouraged to live lives that leave a positive legacy. This could be through children, charitable works, or simply the love and wisdom that we pass on to others. These days all of us are very aware of our impact on the environment and the consequences that this holds for our children and grandchildren.
Regular Spiritual Reflection
Taking time to reflect on the spiritual health of our marriage is crucial. In this, we must be completely honest with ourselves and each other as we discuss our spiritual journeys, assessing how well we’ve been living to our values. Through regular review of our spiritual growth as a couple, we help keep our marriage aligned with God’s plan for our lives.
Renewal of Vows
Some couples find it meaningful to renew their vows or commitments, reaffirming their spiritual dedication to one another and God. This can be a powerful way to strengthen the marriage and refresh our spiritual connection.
Incorporating spiritual principles into our marriage requires intentionality and effort, but the rewards are immense. A spiritually grounded marriage is not just about maintaining harmony; it’s about growing together in love, respect, and purpose. By nurturing the spiritual aspects of our relationship, we build a foundation that can withstand challenges, enrich our lives, and leave a lasting legacy of love and faith.
Remember no matter what you're going through, talk to God about it!
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres”.
Amen.
Have a great week, and God bless,
Trev.